I feel like I need to do a quick follow up post to my last rambling about death and sadness and sunshine (or lack thereof). I am very happy to report that thanks to some wonderful, wonderful visits from family and dear friends along with ample time to sleep and work, I am feeling cautiously optimistic these last couple of days. Thank you…a million and one thank you’s…to everyone who took the time to send a note or leave a comment or do all of those things that may seem so small, but are actually HUGE to someone who is feeling so lost. Gosh, I have learned so much about myself and about the kind of person I want to be through these events and your actions and your love and your warmth and your understanding and your support. YOU are my sunshine…

P.S. Just read a quote from a good friend Andi who recently suffered a tremendous loss of her own: “I know there is no right thing to say. But I’ve found that there is no wrong thing either when it comes from love.” I think that captures everything just perfectly.

While I was getting my hair done the other day, my hairdresser and good friend Katie mentioned the new “tinsel” in my hair. It took me a minute to figure out what she was talking about, but then I giggled and smiled and told her, “You know, I’m grateful for that tinsel. It means I am lucky enough to be getting older.”

A year ago today, I turned 34. I honestly wasn’t that excited about it. I mean, we all know that once you get past a certain age, each birthday becomes like this dreaded countdown to the next “oh, man, I’m getting so ooooooold” milestone. But in one short year, I learned some pretty invaluable lessons, the biggest of which is that each birthday I get to celebrate, each year I get to spend with my family, each new strand of tinsel in my hair is a gift. I am grateful for those gifts. And I will never ever complain again about privilege of getting older.

(A million Thank You’s to two of my most wonderful friends how drove in to spend this birthday with me 😉 – Minnette and Leah. This time together meant more than you might ever, ever know. Love you girls!)

It was so much fun to go back to their house to meet baby brother. I also love seeing what decorating changes have taken place. When we did big brother’s newborn session, they had *just* moved in. This time, I got to see a little more of mom’s aesthetic and I LOVE it. His nursery is so calming and peaceful. Reminds me of the ocean without being too nautical. Watercolors. Be sure to check out two more big favs not pictured HERE and just posted today, HERE.

P.S. Next time I’m at the house, I’ll have to take a pic to show you what mom has done with the hallway pics from each of her sessions. We’ve done one every time I’ve been there and I LOVE that tradition!!!!

It is with a very heavy heart that I tell you that Jim, my husband’s brother, lost his incredibly short battle with metastatic melanoma earlier today just a few weeks past his 36th birthday. It is a surreal time for all of us and words cannot appropriately convey our shock and sadness. To friends and family of Jimbo that are reading this, we have arranged two memorial/celebration of life services for him this week and if you would like information on those, please e-mail info @ jimprints.net to get those details. To all of our friends and family that have offered their support and words of encouragement over the last few months, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. It is quite uplifting to know how much love has surrounded us. Every e-mail, every phone call, every hug has meant the world. All I can say is thank you. Thank you.

In lieu of flowers, if you would like to make a donation in Jim’s honor to www.melanoma.org, that would be incredibly appreciated. Thank you again, and much love to all of you who have shown such kindness and concern for Jimbo and his family.

(To all of my clients, we are taking the next week or so to be with family and I will return messages as soon as I am able.)

Every single day, I get asked, “How’s Jim?”

I am floored that people think to ask, considering most everyone in this world is facing their own issues and sadness and challenges.

And yet people care enough to ask.

I am humbled.

But I am sad because I don’t know how to even begin to answer that question, but let’s sum it up like this: he’s still with us and he’s still fighting.

Quite literally the day after we got the horrible news on my husband’s brother, we drove up to be with Jim and his family. I brought my camera with me. We decided to take some pictures. It was the hardest session ever. To be honest, even though we are so blessed to still get to see and talk to Jim, it’s still very hard for me personally to look at these pictures. But, I want to share some with you because you should meet Jim and his family. They are good people. And this is a reminder to you and to myself of what Jim is fighting for…of what is worth fighting for:

It has been an uphill roller coaster since November. We can’t ever really enjoy any downhill thrill. We can’t ever really take a relaxing breath. We just keep creeping up a hill that gets bigger and bigger. We were told the day after Christmas that we might have 3-4 weeks with him. We’ve passed that 4 week mark. But how strangely joyous and sad is it that we are grateful for just a week, just a day when at age 35, you’re expecting to grow old and have grandchildren and maybe even one day, great-grandchildren? Jim’s not technically my brother and it’s not my husband and children who are facing this exhausting battle, but we are all feeling it. We all hurt. We are all scared. We are all hoping.

Jim is trying. He really is. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to try to eat and eat well when the cancer in your liver is making you nauseous all the time. We went back to spend a few days with them a week or so ago. To see these pictures now, it is gut-wrenching to realize the toll the cancer has taken on Jim’s body in mere weeks. I am glad we took those pictures when we did.

In lieu of the standard chemotherapy treatments, Jim has opted for zelboraf (http://www.skincancer.org/news/melanoma/new-zelboraf-study), a newly approved drug to treat advanced melanoma. He’s also completed a series of targeted radiation treatments. In about another month, Jim will get new body scans and tests to determine the effectiveness of his treatments.

And so he fights. And he waits. And we wait.

The hardest part is that after all of this waiting, Jim’s sick leave has finally run out. It is incredibly ironic that they sacrificed so much for so long so that Jim could go to school and get a good job and take care of the family while his wife stayed home to care for their children. And now she needs to work. AND care for the children. AND care for her husband. AND do everything around the house. AND worry. AND plan for the future. AND maintain hope. I think my heart aches the most for her in all of this.

When we launched j.imprints back before Christmas, it was a quick effort to provide some sort of financial relief to Jim and his family while he underwent treatment. The response was overwhelming. Absolutely overwhelming and I can’t comprehend the kindness and concern and support that my clients, friends, family, and even complete strangers have shown to our family through j.imprints. It was tough for Jim’s wife to accept this kind of help, but I also know it has become a nice little safety net…a just in case…a “my kiddos aren’t going to go hungry” kind of relief to her. In addition to that, you managed to help us donate nearly $1000 to the Melanoma Research Alliance! Wow! Thank you!

We want to keep this effort going and so long story short, we have created a limited edition Valentine-themed release of images. PLUS we’ve added iPhone cases and notecards to the lineup. Please take a few minutes to browse j.imprints. Please, see if there’s something there that appeals to you. Please PASS on the link! Share it on Facebook, tweet it, blog it, e-mail it. Since Instagram was pretty much the inspiration behind this project, share images of your j.imprints on Instagram and tag them #jimprints (have you searched the #jimprints tag on Instagram? Oh, I love seeing everyone’s images displayed so beautifully). And again, because I promise I will mention this every time I talk about it on here, get educated on melanoma.

Thank you all again for everything. Every message of encouragement. Every little gift. Every story shared. Your power to uplift is immeasurable.

WINNERS ANNOUNCED HERE 2.14.13

UPDATE 2.7.13: GO HERE TO SEE THE FINALISTS AND SELECT YOUR FAVS FOR ROUND II!!!

There are 48 entries in the running to become Pinkle’s Pic of the Year. These images were selected by the clients themselves for your consideration to become finalists. Here’s how it works:

ROUND ONE – NOW thru midnight central on Feb 6th

• Cast your vote(s) for your favorite image(s) in the poll below between now and by MIDNIGHT CENTRAL TIME ON FEB 6th, 2013.
• You can view each entry larger in THIS GALLERY
• While you can only vote once, you can vote for more than one image (you’re welcome 😉

(Poll not displaying properly? Try THIS link.)

On Feb 7th, 12 finalists will be announced here and on Facebook, selected as follows:

• The top 4 from this online poll
• 4 selected from a panel of professional photographers
• 4 selected by me! (I might even add in a few surprise entries)

My husband’s 35-yr-old brother (his only sibling) was very suddenly diagnosed with stage IV metastatic melanoma last week.  The prognosis is unspeakable and we are devastated for him, for his wife, and most of all, for his much too young children.

Normally, I run my business full time while my husband cares for our children. However, he needs to be with his brother and his family as much as possible right now, so I am doing my best to keep up both as a mom and as a business owner. I am deeply sorry for any delays in communication during this time, but I ask for your patience and understanding as we direct our energies toward supporting my brother-in-law and his family.

Thank you.

This has been an incredibly long process and I know I still have some work to do on it, but I’m thrilled to have something fresh for Pinkle Toes Photography! I LOVE change! Thanks for coming by and I hope you like the changes, too!

Speaking of changes, for those dying to see my new pink hair, courtesy of Katie, here ya go:

Didn’t she do a GREAT job? That girl is so talented…not only did she color and cut my hair she styled it, did my makeup, AND took these pics! Yeah. Katie rocks.

P.S. If you’ve been receiving my blog posts via e-mail, you will need to update your subscription to keep getting them: Subscribe to Pinkle Toes Photography by Email HERE

Some sort of lovely stomach bug is making its rounds through my family right now. There will be a bit of a delay in returning calls/e-mails at this time. Thanks for understanding and hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!