{"id":2416,"date":"2013-09-03T12:03:38","date_gmt":"2013-09-03T17:03:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/?p=2416"},"modified":"2013-09-03T12:05:09","modified_gmt":"2013-09-03T17:05:09","slug":"looking-for-the-sunshine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/","title":{"rendered":"Looking for the sunshine"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I am normally a very positive person. I like to be happy. I like to find the silver lining in all things. I am pretty good at putting on a smile and appreciating the day, even if I don&#8217;t quite feel like it.<\/p>\n<p>It scares me to pour my heart out like this and I don&#8217;t even know if I should, but my blog used to be a place where I could share all of my happy memories, I guess I&#8217;m allowed to share the dark side, too.\u00a0I have to be honest now&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>I am lost. I am truly at a loss. I didn&#8217;t really realize how sad I&#8217;ve been until today while, in an effort to get back to work, I was trying desperately to catch up with my <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/media\/set\/?set=a.10151323458589525.495208.263201519524&amp;type=1\" target=\"_blank\">365 project<\/a>. But with each image bringing me closer and closer to the death of Pop, I was filled with more and more dread and grief. \u00a0I have been unable to function any more than just getting through each day lately. It has been very difficult for me to face even the smallest of tasks. I would like to just crawl up into my bed and go to sleep and forget everything.\u00a0I know that I cannot do that. I know that people have endured much worse tragedies than these. It&#8217;s not my <a href=\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/in-memory\/\" target=\"_blank\">brother<\/a> we lost&#8230;it&#8217;s not my <a href=\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/in-memory-of-pop\/\" target=\"_blank\">father <\/a>who just passed away, but these have certainly been my heartaches to share. My whole outlook on the world and life and the future has been bruised.<\/p>\n<p>I have got to find a way to put the sadness of past year and a half behind me.\u00a0I have to keep functioning. I have to keep being a wife. I have to keep being a mommy. I have to allow myself to feel happiness again.\u00a0I&#8217;m just not sure how.\u00a0I\u00a0guess this is a start? Admitting that I am sad. Admitting that I am afraid. There has to be some hope in the fact that I at least have the desire get back to the sunny side again, even if I don&#8217;t have the direction.<\/p>\n<p>So I guess I just want to tell you&#8211;my family, my friends, my clients, and even those who haven&#8217;t ever met me&#8211;thank you. Thank you for being patient with me and forgiving of me and for allowing me to be sad for a little bit. I promise&#8230;I promise it will get better. It has to. There are too many wonderful things in this world left to be appreciated and admired. And I want to share as may of those as I can with you&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Much love,<\/p>\n<p>Me<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am normally a very positive person. I like to be happy. I&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-my-family"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Looking for the sunshine - Pinkle Toes Photography<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Looking for the sunshine - Pinkle Toes Photography\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am normally a very positive person. I like to be happy. I...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Pinkle Toes Photography\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-09-03T17:03:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-09-03T17:05:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Michele\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Michele\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Michele\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/60aba8c4c74f379f319a5343d1dcaa24\"},\"headline\":\"Looking for the sunshine\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-09-03T17:03:38+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-09-03T17:05:09+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/\"},\"wordCount\":447,\"commentCount\":0,\"articleSection\":[\"My Family\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/\",\"name\":\"Looking for the sunshine - Pinkle Toes Photography\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2013-09-03T17:03:38+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-09-03T17:05:09+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/60aba8c4c74f379f319a5343d1dcaa24\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Looking for the sunshine\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Pinkle Toes Photography\",\"description\":\"Austin&#039;s authentic family lifestyle photographer.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/60aba8c4c74f379f319a5343d1dcaa24\",\"name\":\"Michele\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1f16d8fccb0868a9c63f17524e3bb11cbd7df5f7368497ba33b9f555bdde57b1?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1f16d8fccb0868a9c63f17524e3bb11cbd7df5f7368497ba33b9f555bdde57b1?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1f16d8fccb0868a9c63f17524e3bb11cbd7df5f7368497ba33b9f555bdde57b1?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Michele\"},\"url\":\"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/author\/michele\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Looking for the sunshine - Pinkle Toes Photography","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Looking for the sunshine - Pinkle Toes Photography","og_description":"I am normally a very positive person. I like to be happy. I...","og_url":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/","og_site_name":"Pinkle Toes Photography","article_published_time":"2013-09-03T17:03:38+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-09-03T17:05:09+00:00","author":"Michele","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Michele","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/"},"author":{"name":"Michele","@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/60aba8c4c74f379f319a5343d1dcaa24"},"headline":"Looking for the sunshine","datePublished":"2013-09-03T17:03:38+00:00","dateModified":"2013-09-03T17:05:09+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/"},"wordCount":447,"commentCount":0,"articleSection":["My Family"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/","url":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/","name":"Looking for the sunshine - Pinkle Toes Photography","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/#website"},"datePublished":"2013-09-03T17:03:38+00:00","dateModified":"2013-09-03T17:05:09+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/60aba8c4c74f379f319a5343d1dcaa24"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/looking-for-the-sunshine\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Looking for the sunshine"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/#website","url":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/","name":"Pinkle Toes Photography","description":"Austin&#039;s authentic family lifestyle photographer.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/60aba8c4c74f379f319a5343d1dcaa24","name":"Michele","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1f16d8fccb0868a9c63f17524e3bb11cbd7df5f7368497ba33b9f555bdde57b1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1f16d8fccb0868a9c63f17524e3bb11cbd7df5f7368497ba33b9f555bdde57b1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1f16d8fccb0868a9c63f17524e3bb11cbd7df5f7368497ba33b9f555bdde57b1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Michele"},"url":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/author\/michele\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2416","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2416"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2416\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2419,"href":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2416\/revisions\/2419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2416"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2416"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pinkletoesblogstalker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2416"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}