[Wordy, but worthy. Back story first, then be sure to scroll down to the bottom to read up on the Pinkle Toes special event at Pure Barre Cedar Park last week!]

It was early Feb 2015 when I nervously walked into my first class at Pure Barre in the hopes of having that same euphoric experience as my dear friend Leah. After 55 minutes in that class (of which I was barely able to do anything), I shakily walked out of that studio, collapsed in my car, barely made it home and pretty much stayed in bed for the next several days. I had nightmares about that class every night. Unfortunately (fortunately?) for me, I had already signed up for a month of classes, so I reluctantly returned. I can’t say that I liked my second or third class much better. But I was determined I was going to stick with it and give it a chance.

Let’s back up a little bit. After enduring very difficult and sad years for my family in 2012 and 2013, I can say now that throughout 2014, I was lost. That’s probably the best way to describe it. I was going through the motions day to day, numb and not in control of my joy. I just didn’t want to or even know how to live life after so much sadness. I felt like a zombie. Certainly, there were many bright spots during 2014–the greatest of which being the birth of my nieces–but I cannot say that I lived that year to the fullest. I was starting to feel very old. I would get out of bed each morning, tired and achy, not sleeping well at night because of the tremendous amount of pain I was in from my back, neck, and shoulders. I guess I did something during a photo shoot once that pulled or twisted my back and the hours at the computer seemed to be making it worse and worse. I was feeling desperate…like my clock had started counting down. I had this silly dream of running a marathon the year I turned 40, but here I was at 36, feeling 50 and thinking it could only get worse from here. I had zero desire to do anything really. I ate everything all the time. I spent a lot of time at my computer or in my bed. I was trying to be all of these things…a mom, a wife, a business woman, a human…but I wasn’t doing any of them very well at all.

I remember on January 1st, 2015 agreeing with my sister that something was going to have to change. She and I both started back on Weight Watchers and I honestly believed that would be enough to change my lifestyle. I was NOT the kind of person who would go to the gym. I was scared of exercise. I knew it would hurt and I knew it would be extra difficult for me because of all of the extra weight I had been carrying around. But when Leah showed up at my house in Jan 2015 for a photography project we were working on together and she was HALF the size she used to be and completely radiant and happy and healthy, I told myself if she could do it, then I could, too.

And with Leah’s gentle encouragement and support, I gave barre a try. I wish I could say that I was instantly in love with it like she was (you can read her story on her blog), but I can say that I DID start to notice changes in my body very soon after recovering from the initial shock and soreness ;0). I need to take a moment to say thank you to one of my most favorite Barre Tenders, Kari. I’m not sure she’ll ever comprehend how much her guidance and patience helped me embrace the shake and stick with barre, even when sometimes, I felt like just leaving in the middle of class ;-). She is an incredible teacher for sure!

After doing barre consistently for a bit over a year now, here are the seemingly small milestones that are a big deal to me:

1. I can touch my toes. Silly, I know, but I have never been able to touch my toes. Not even in high school. When I first started barre, I could reach to my knees and that was about it. Now, I can touch my toes and somedays, reach even further!
2. My shoulder pain is all but a distant memory. I finally worked the muscles enough in my back, arms, and chest to release my shoulder blades and that is pretty much like a whole new lease on life for me. For a while, I hate to admit that I was dependent on sleeping medications trying to escape from that constant shoulder pain. I did NOT want that in my life. I am beyond thrilled to have finally moved past that.
3. I will never forget the first day I held the plank for the full 90 seconds without coming down on my knees!
4. I’ve always liked my arms/shoulders thanks to the heavy lifting of camera equipment, but now, they are *really* toned.
5. I lost my love handles! Buh-bye.
6. I lost my cankles! Buh-bye.
7. I kinda actually like my backside and legs for the first time…ever. EVER!

Now, just because I’ve reached a few milestones and I’ve gotten better at the barre, it doesn’t mean I still don’t have goals and it definitely doesn’t mean it has gotten any easier by any stretch of the imagination. I happen to be a very goal-oriented person and this journey to a stronger, healthier, happier self is absolutely guided by SMALL, reasonable goals. My next barre goals are:

1. To be able to do REAL pushups. I’m getting closer, but I’m not there yet.
2. To get all the way through thigh sprints without a single break (I’m not even close to that yet ;-).
3. To be more graceful during seated core work ;-).

And now on to the AMAZING Pinkle Toes-only class we had at Pure Barre Cedar Park!!!! Where do I even begin? It was so overwhelmingly FUN and challenging and beautiful and happy and exhausting all at the same time. I was grinning like a kid in a candy store looking around the studio at all of the eager faces ready to take on a new challenge.

I was truly amazed that:

1. Each of these ladies actually took time out of there very busy days to come to class.
2. Some of them were doing barre for the first time and ROCKED it.
3. They were still smiling after class (the group pictures prove it).
4. AND, with their generous donations, helped us contribute $1000 to the Melanoma Research Foundation in memory of my husband’s brother, Jim.

Speechless, really. Even when I got home that afternoon and tried to tell my husband all about it, I kept getting choked up. What a joy to get to to share this passion with so many of my clients and friends AND raise so much money to help battle a disease that scarred our family deeply.

So, THANK YOU Rebecca, owner of Pure Barre Cedar Park, for being so willing to do this with me and teaching our class in a way that was challenging, but still possible for everyone in the room. Thank you for letting us hang out with you in the studio and for your support of the Melanoma Research Foundation. I am proud to call you a friend!

THANK YOU to my sweet client-friend, Gay, for creating those delicious and adorable custom cookies for the event!

THANK YOU to Elizabeth and Jackie from EDJE Activ for donating one of your awesome barre shirts as a door prize!

THANK YOU to Gloriana from Kitchun for the delicious No-Grain-Ola to fortify us after class!

THANK YOU to Katie from Modern Muse Beauty for donating to the door prizes and for being one of my Barre Besties for sure!

THANK YOU to my friends, my seester, and my clients for rising to this challenge and for being so generous with your time and donations. Thanks for letting me honor YOU as we celebrate Pinkle Toes Photography’s 10th Birthday this year!

If you are a past or upcoming Pinkle Toes Client and you missed your chance at the barre with me, don’t despair as I have several more special events coming up around town. The next one is going to be announced on Instagram *very* soon, so you might want to make sure you follow me there.

When my sister had to check into the hospital due to PPROM–quite literally the day after her baby shower and and just one day shy of 25 weeks–the time was so tenuous. Pretty much all of her pregnancy has been tenuous and full of worry and fear. Not knowing how much longer she would be able to carry the babies, we did a few quick pictures of her beautiful belly as best we could in her hospital room. Love how Uncle Chad expertly covered the IV’s and hospital bracelets ;-).

My sister has been in/out of hospitals since January and spent every.single.day cooped up in a hospital here in Austin for the last FORTY days and counting. Really. Incredible. And things are still going well, girls are still getting stronger. These chickadees have made it PAST 28 weeks (a magical milestone) and PAST 30 weeks! They are so amazing! And lest we forget to thank Uncle Chad, who has taken diligent care of his wife while working full time and trying to maintain the house. Yup. This family is full of fighters…in a good way.

Oh, I can’t wait to meet these girls and let them know how proud we are of them. And of their parents. Not much longer, my friends. We could welcome them safely any day now and that is in an amazing place of happiness to be in right now. Sigh…

All this to say, I have joined in our family’s team for March of Dimes in Austin this May. While Jen’s babies are doing well and we don’t know when they’ll be born yet, we are much too aware of how many babies are born prematurely and the immeasurable challenges they face because of it. If you have just a few minutes and few dollars to spare, I would be so grateful if you would consider sponsoring me in the walk.

xoxo,

Me

[Disclaimer: so as not to spend the entire evening behind my big, black Nikon box, I only took pics w/ my iphone 😉 You can forgive me, right?]

A good friend of mine shared THIS video with me and it absolutely inspired me because let’s face it, after our family’s fair share of hurt this year, I definitely have a desire to be happier.  So, I decided to throw a party to thank some very special clients…people who have been with me since the very beginning, people I see year after year, people with whom I’ve shared laughter, tears, elation, and heartache. What better way to thank them than to give them a little shopping spree at one of my favorite stores, Kendra Scott Jewelry in good ol’ Austin, TX? And, even better, in the process, we were able to raise more than $1,100 to go toward the Melanoma Research Foundation. (Why?).

It could not have been a more perfect evening. I had SO much fun getting to visit with my clients dear friends while doing some girlie girl shopping with them. I got to hug each and every one of them and say, “Thank you,” in person. I even had a visit from my sissy and my hubby brought the kiddos by for a cupcake or two (PURE yumminess from Nothing Bundt Cakes in Westlake).  I was walking on air that night. So much so, it is pretty much a given that we must repeat this next year. Right, ladies? Those who were not able to make it…here is your hug, too ;-). Sorry we missed you and hopefully, we’ll catch you next time around 😉

I still pinch myself sometimes. I can’t believe how many families I’ve been able to watch grow and change over these last seven years. I was telling a client the other day it’s funny because this is the longest I’ve stayed in one job…by far. My second longest was 2 years ;-). I am very thankful to have found a career that doesn’t really feel like “work.” It fulfills me and keeps me going. I get hang out with the most interesting, humorous, brilliant, beautiful people from all over the world…from all walks of life. I am very thankful for all of the clients I’ve met and the miracles I’ve witnessed and celebrated. Very thankful.

XOXO and very humbly yours,

Me

I am SO excited to have partnered up with Gro Boutique to bring back the 2nd Annual Pinkle Toes Holiday Mini Sessions! This year’s theme is Candy Land and I’ve been working day and night to pull together this magical, sweet set. The *only* way to score one of these FREE exclusive kids-only mini sessions is by booking a full session for 2013. I just announced these a few days ago and the openings are already more than half full, so don’t wait around.  And yes, if you bring in an unwrapped toy/gift to your mini, you’ll receive a special surprise ;-0. Please contact me ASAP to get the full details.

The Back-to-School mini sessions were nothing short of incredible! Even after shooting *all* day, I left Gro yesterday with a spring in my step, a huge smile on my face, and my heart full of joy–joy for the fact that everyone donated SOOO many school supplies to our school supply drive (this image doesn’t even come close to showing everything that was donated); joy because I was lucky enough to reconnect with an old college roommate whom I hadn’t seen for well over a decade; joy because I just spent the last several days working side-by-side w/ my mom; joy because I got to meet so many new clients; and joy because I got to see so many of my past clients. Thank you isn’t enough, really. I’m so looking forward to turning this into an annual tradition and making it bigger and better every year. Mark your calendars, everyone. August is going to be Back-to-School month for Pinkle Toes from now on!

But for now, I have a TON of e-mail and proofing and laundry and snuggles to catch up on, so thank you so much in advance for your patience as I start to return back to the real Pinkle Toes world ;-).

Let’s create the most unique school portrait your child may ever have and do something to give back to Austin at the same time!! I’m incredibly excited to be able to offer these sessions both at the Pinkle Toes Studio (outdoor set) and inside Gro Boutique at the Hill Country Galleria (if you haven’t been there to shop…oh, you must!). I’ve been working for MONTHS on the set and props…just wait until you see it all. Please contact me for full details (photogs…please use my photographer form if you are asking questions not related to scheduling a session):

You can bid on a 1-hr one-on-one, ask whatever you want, mentoring session with me AND help provide safe, clean drinking water to those in need. To check out and/or bid on my session, go HERE. To see the list of other AMAZING photographers participating, peep THIS (and I’ll have you know I bid on a session with someone myself). And to learn more about The ShootQ Thirst Relief Mentor Auction, mosey on down HERE.

……………………………

It’s is a long one. Bear with me.

This blog is a place where we get to celebrate births and newborns and the miracle of life pretty much on a daily basis. I know how delicate life is. I know how miraculous the creation of life
is. I don’t take it for granted, not for one single second. I don’t consider myself a typically religious person, but I can tell you I pray for every newborn client that comes my way. I pray before every birth. I pray during every birth. And I pray after the birth.

But not everything happens the way you intend
and sometimes the dream of having a healthy, happy child doesn’t become a
reality:

I was so excited to be pregnant with my second child and on May 11, 2010 my husband, daughter and I ventured to the doctor’s office for our routine ultrasound. We were going to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. We could barely contain the excitement as we waited to be called back. Would my daughter have a little brother or sister to play with come fall? All of the dreams of my second child ran through my head and sadly they all came crashing down with 4 words. “There is no heartbeat.”

I honestly never thought about losing a child, especially after having a textbook pregnancy up until 19 weeks, a healthy daughter and being 27. I delivered my son, Oliver, the next day and it was hello and goodbye in one day. We left the hospital brokenhearted and empty handed.

I quickly turned to online resources in my grief looking for women to relate to. Somewhere I could share my story and feel less alone. Within a few weeks I found a brand new site, Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope, an online resource where women who had experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss could come together, share their stories and their faces, find support and know they are not alone. These were women that were just like me, young, healthy and now very aware of the true devastation of pregnancy and infant loss. This was where I met Kristin, the founder, who lost her daughter, Stevie Joy at 26 weeks just 4 days before I lost Oliver, and I quickly knew this was my calling and how I could help spread awareness and share Oliver’s story.

We joined forces and propelled by our deep desire to make a difference in honor of our children, Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope has grown at an incredible rate, with nearly 250,000 website hits, 400 stories up on the site and most recently a community forum. Clearly, women are ready to start talking about pregnancy and infant loss.

We have launched our new campaign called I AM THE FACE which runs through October 15th, which is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Our goal is to have 2,000 women who have lost a baby add a picture of their face to the site, to represent the 2,000 women who lose a baby every single day in the US. The goal is to ‘put a face’ on pregnancy and infant loss, and let more women who are suffering in silence know that they are not alone, and have no reason to be ashamed.

We are hoping that this becomes a movement, that those who have experienced a loss start thinking of themselves as survivors. You can really feel a sense of new found pride radiating from the women who have joined the campaign already. Yes, they are sad, but they are proud to have survived one of the worst things that can happen to a person, and proud to speak of the children they have lost and who have touched their lives forever.

“There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this earth.”

Andrea and Kristin have been so brave and generous and forward-thinking. Their efforts have not only helped families who’ve experienced losses but also their friends and relatives who wish to support them in some way (I found this link to be particularly helpful). Watching Andrea turn her grief into something so powerful inspired me and I felt it was important to promote this incredible resource. To join the movement, please go to www.iamtheface.org. You can also read stories of loss and hope, and share your own at www.facesofloss.com.

Andrea…thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story on here and I hope we can help continue to honor the memory of Oliver through Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope.